23.2.11

SHELTER!







you flew into me, when i had lost the hope
with nothingness to gape, and darkness to grope---
when identity lay writhing, ripped and torn;
i found a bond with you was born!
unknowing, the affable you mutated in me,
ushering life---fresh, light, warm, carefree.
you belonged to me strongly by the hour
filling sense to the scorch,the pain and the shower.

but the stars fell dead and the bad moon rose;
the time stood still and life just froze!
you left when i was hoping to be,
with nothingness fading and i discovering me.
but void was recovered,and glum thus stayed.
i lay parched in blame,as i lost my shade!

8 comments:

  1. I am pretty bad at getting the inner meaning of a piece. But apparently to me this is a very well written :) in my understanding :)
    I did not get who the 'you' is, else its fab :)

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  2. last para ta bapok !
    entire 1 is good no doubt..but
    ""but the stars fell dead and the bad moon rose;
    the time stood still and life just froze!
    you left when i was hoping to be"" : dis 3 line is just awesome :)

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  3. as usual...brilliant..but cant u just let ur poems continue for a longer period of tym??? its d same wd each of ur poems...it ends too soon...:(( but its superb no doubt...:)))

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  4. delicately poised..and i agree..last stanza is brilliant

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  5. a very well written poem... it narrates a story of a person... and the last stanza is brilliant... wuld jst end by sayin.....
    "Your life lies ahead of you
    Like a sheet of fallen snow
    Be carefull how you tread it-
    For every mark will show."
    Zarin.

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  6. interesting

    you are invited to read my blog

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  7. great writing.... ekta question.. .. 'you left when i was hoping to be, with nothingness fading and i discovering me.'- nothingness fading and self discovery is a kind of achievement .. then why "bad moon rose..... froze".. just because the person left ??

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  8. i love happy poems. shuru ta was happy. last part ta is dark. well written but i'm having mixed feelings. bu this is my personal opinion. i am no poetry critic.

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