SCRIBBLE

an abyss--sudden yet strong
the season-wither, throng!
a song-sung and lost
memories-cold and frost.
passers by-shallow, dumb:
destiny-quietened, mum.
sleep-prolonged, waste
morn-repent, distaste.
tear-dried up, forlorn:
buttress-crashed, gone
zephyr-uncomfy,chill
job-cloned,drill
friends-true ones, rare
hope-flickering, but there
strength-deep, guiding
life-naked, yet abiding......

TRAVAIL

[had a conversation with a dear school friend. got to get a tiny glimpse of what he lived after we parted. i tried portray his phase in the octet, and the sestet speaks of the present me!]



Marks red dotted his paper white,
Buttresses fell, that held him upright.
Caress, a hug, he asked no more:
In lieu, was left writhing in gore!
Chitin unmasked, staccato he wore,
Pain in the eyes, burdened the core.
Shunned and thwarted, a forced debark---
Soaked in rain, he 'danced' into the dark.

Shudder and guilt, I retraced his way,
Verity struck, i stared in dismay:
Smudges blue, sole lived his fight.
Solitude brew, he 'rehab'ed all white.
"I wish I were there"----harping idiosyncrasy,
"I need no one"---he bellowed, ecstacy!

BARFI

When the two main protagonists of a story are deaf-and-dumb and autistic respectively, what you experience is the sound of silence: the music that echoes through the cardiac tympanum. Barfi and Jhilmil are two such musicians who play their chords, silently. Yet they emerge as an orchestra—loud and heavy! The movie is not a silent one, in the truest sense of the terminology. ‘Cause the supporting characters speak, shout, laugh, cry: but what you look for is the soundless melody of Barfi and Jhilmil’s bond. And the man who conducts the symphony with charming despotism is Anurag Basu.

The entire film goes back and forth on the time scale. And with that you time travel to Darjeeling and Kolkata of the 70s. The foggy picturesque landscape of the hills ushers a ‘wow’ out of the audience. The scene where Barfi sets the camera for his picture is symbolic of the tremendous talent the cinematography exhibits in the rest of the reel. Be it the green mountains or the grey roads, be it the Farmville or the wooden house, the camera work is a delight! Capturing just the eyes of Jhilmil or the ponytail of Barfi, the lenses marvel the onlooker.  

When it comes down to the characterization, you will find it difficult to feel sympathy for Barfi. He evokes laughter out of you---‘muskaan’ unadulterated. When he eats up a child’s chocolate, you giggle at his prank; when he holds on to the toy train and rides his bicycle, you say ‘ai shabbash’; when he hits a post and falls down you caringly hush ‘awwwwwww’. He has this weird way of conducting a loyalty test. It makes you question yourself---“would I have passed it?”. Jhilmil does and how! The eyes of the girl speak volumes and the melancholy in her calling ‘baafffiiii’ outvoices all other sound in the movie. She is insecure too. Every individual is. But every individual is not fearless---Shruti is not. But these two entities know how to fly high and take you along with. And with them flows Pritam’s music—a reminiscent of Late Salil Chowdhury’s melody!

But the man behind the curtains is the director and screenplay-writer, Mr. Basu. Kahaani has taken us on a trip to the nooks and corners of Kolkata---Basu takes us on a holiday ride to the mountains. His screenplay is, to me, of top notch calibre in this venture. The scene where Barfi frustrates for the first time as Shruti chooses to be Mrs. Sengupta---out of this world! The mime speaks of his shouts, silenced. The scene in Kolkata where Barfi hands over the umbrella,  bids bye to Shruti and looks at the car from the door, the scene where Barfi introduces his home to Shruti and she finds through the window the presence of another woman, the scene where the light reflected of a mirror hits Barfi and he expectantly turns around : some of the best scenes. When the lad and the lass play with mirror reflections for the first time, you are bound to follow the reflections on the ceiling. The ransom note he left has words “ post bosk” and “jai hid” (hind goes missing). The strength of the script is that it makes you be the character. One frantically searches for Jhilmil with Barfi with the toy in his mouth, one’s heart leaps with hope as many times as Barfi throws his shoe up in the air, one actually realises “itni si hasi, itni si khushi, itna sa tukda chand ka, khwabon ke tinko se, chal banaye aashiyan…”!

One wishes to hold on to the movie with his little finger, forever. As I come out of the theatre and see the poster that reads “don’t worry, be barfi!” I feel the director IS asking us to worry— Because we fail to help without a repayment: Because we choke our lives with terms and conditions: Because we do not love without conditions. Even when we say “I love you unconditionally”, we limit our expression by mouthing ‘unconditionally’: And finally because ………we are NOT Barfi!

I am SHE

I usher a life to be

A mother---I am SHE.

But my birth, often gory
A daughter---I am SHE.

When I am to run family

An role model--- I am SHE.

 Chores for abuse as fee

A housewife--- I am SHE.

Serving truly his ‘husbandry'

A wife---I am SHE.

Still, I fail proving lucky

A widow--- I am SHE.

 

Holding hands, all in spree

A lover---I am SHE.

Not letting him to be on me

A bitch ---I am SHE.

Raising my child with all in me

Caring---I am SHE.

When grown, no time for me

An old prick then---I am SHE.

 

 

Unwanted 'push', the blood fiery

Tolerance---I am SHE.

No one wants a similar me

Cradle void---I am SHE.

 

 

 

Potent, I face dogma- blatant, tawdry

Raging fury, I fight social bigotry

I deal with men-shallow, paltry

Wiping the Wrong, i Forgive them-guilty

i am strong, and so wlll i be

I am WOMAN and I am proudly SHE.

 



THE WANT

[preview: i had been associated with some friends, akin sibling. but the force has gone weak! missing  them.]

I want to be with them

Four springs ago who came

In my verve.

Now that they are gone

Ties that held, are torn

And I starve.

Ragging set us off instep

Dragging is all that’s left

We moved far!

The link that bound them with me

Is dryly strangling our repartee

The gap is left ajar.

The bunch still does belong

But prick their words’ prong

I bleed dry!

I was mellowed by them all

Averse, I did build a wall

And all turned wry.

I want them back to me

With all the beam and glee

Like the oldest way!

But will the bridge be crafted?

Shall the peace be drafted?

The rhetoric is still to stay!



THUD!

[ preview: I went to a place. On my way back….]

The train, the ride, the thirst and heat, 

The halt, the shop, up from the seat.

The hurry, the money, so worthy a buy---

The whistle, the turn, the train moving by;

The panic, the rush, the want to climb board,

The grasp, the slip, the goliath lay floored!

The speed, the whoosh, the bang on train side,

The roll., the hurl, thrown out of the ride.

The hand, the knee, blood oozed out slow,

The scatter, the thwart, the ‘ahh’ed bellow:

The scramble, the grope, belongings spread ‘round,

The dust, the torn, but my laughter unbound!

The station, the wait, the concerned few men,

The cotton, the soak, to help was their yen.

The bench, the wait, sipping lemon tea:

The ponder, more laughs, how things can be!

The horn, the blow, arrived the next on line.

Same pace, towards home, incident entwined.

The share, the berate, friends stare in aghast,

Their question, my excuse, “the train was moving super fast”!

BONDED, BIZARRE!

[PREVIEW: how does it feel to meet your friend for just a moment ??? shall one crib abt the transitory meet or shall one live the emotions to the fullest? experienced it first hand--and so portrayed it, but metaphorically]

The pebble lies on the shore

The wave, afar, ragingly roar:

It’s coming.

It wakes, ready to sweep,

A slumber, not too deep---

No longer dreaming!

The water swirls up fast to splash

Gleaming white to have a bash,

Joy is brimming!

The froth, the solid, the usher and so

The whoosh, the hug, the smile galore:

Excitement summing.

Immense fun, abandoned glitch,

Moments weaving the priceless stitch

Memories forming!

Rapid receding, akin the come:

Hopeful adieu, tears some…

Sadness storming.

Melancholy struck, a lumpy throat:

Sunken heart, hopes afloat

The heart is strumming.

The wave, ebbed far, silently roar

The sand is wet, pebble still on shore

Linger continues humming.

DRAFTED ETERNITY

[ preview---boring class--need something to spice up, hence this piece: it dates back to 2007--n the title was suggested by my friend, kushal mehta!]

i had long wanted to feel you
touch you places forbidden
that lay hidden
from the world outside.
they so very enthrall me
that i am often found dumb
the high valleys , the deep curves
have all excited my nerves
for ages;
but now, when i stand so near
with just the skin covering you up, my dear
i am tense.
the brownness of your body
took me so unready
that i lay startled

as you invited me in
to commit the original sin
i felt divine
as i kissed you from head to toe
with the greed growing more and more
you tasted like wine!
you were tender and hard was i
nerves were taut as i made a try
to push open the curtain:

to get in there , you helped me out
with yourself wide spread out
carefully showing off the pink
it felt wet and mild
turned on , i felt wild
to the extreme
my maleness throbbed
as you robbed
me of my calm
.

you were biting on to my pride
i felt power inside
and felt brave and dared
to fill in you myself

your body shivered and you moaned
in joyful pain, when you groaned
i fell in love again
as you lay by me much quiet
after the prowl and hunt
just like a resting lionness
i thanked God for His grace
to have given me this moment-
the moment of eternal pleasure
the moment i would always treasure
.
the moment of extreme emotions
the moment of pure devotion
the moment of complete belonging to you
the moment of my life

comatosed, perennially

[preview: read so many mishaps in the paper---Irene being the latest---somehow the glum in the day made me recollect the disasters--so expressed in my own way!]


the gloom around forces me sad
robs me off the peace i had!
drains me out of fuel all,
tired fatigue slowly does crawl.
seeping in some pressure high,
breaths are gone, left are sigh.
drowning in the sea of hope:
bleakness in hand, nothing to grope.
the tunnel appears to run for long
blossom dead, pricks the prong.
winter falls, white and cold.
bright and sunny days are sold.
hurricanes and storms lash so hard
line is long, escape is barred.
metal rod hits the brain,
down now pours the bloody rain.
slowly. mildly the bell has gone
rumble merry---lost, forlorn.
lying covered in the ashes' heap:
stifled cry, and silenced weep.
my world is on its way to end.....
bad moon shone as a white crescent!
how i wish it be a nightmare
arms stretched in wild despair.
but alas! the house crashes down.
my body lies bloodstained brown.
under the debris, i rot to hell:
slowly loud, i hear the death bell!

Adulterated!

in the dark hours, i cry
i breathe hard as i lie
     naked, on the floor!
the flesh pole hitting me hard
plunging deeper, completely offguard
     with blood oozing more!
i shouted, i screamed out loud:
i even managed to pull a crowd
     to fetch me a drape ----
they gathered, watched so hushed
i bled, and yet none rushed
     lest they miss the rape!
pain grew strong and i grew weak,
i was drenched in blood vein's leak,
     turned into a mock for all:
carcass i had turned into then,
snatched, smothered, wildly bitten;
     yet tears failed to fall.

days came and passed by
it was then people came and made a try
     to help me get over:
but the nightmare haunts me still,
the grasp, the bite and the drill
     have slurred the inside, forever!

COLORS OF LIFE!

Roy lay on his bed and a white envelope on the bedside table. Sleep generally came easy but the content of the letter forced him insomniac. Roy had lost his job. All kudos went to some unscrupulous hero who screwed the financial statements of a particular company, the global economy and most importantly Roy’s life. Roy smirked at the individual’s heroic feats---boy, he surely had some talent! But the bottom line was that Roy was rendered jobless. For the first time, he failed to comprehend his feelings. Perplexed? Angry? Broken? ---- What was he?

He could lie no more. He needed to vent out, shout out his dejection. Roy required an outlet. His hands reached out for his paint brushes. Painting had been a passion for him. But passion was definitely not on the palate that moment. He was frustrated. (Oh! How he hated to use that word). With bold strokes he painted the whole canvas black. Might be, he thought his life to be so---dark, opaque, uncertain. The strokes were slapdash, haphazard. He dipped the brush in red and started blotting the blackened canvas. Spots of red paint splattered the canvas---as if his inner self was torn apart and he bled himself dry. He took his duster and smudged the red splotches. His hand quivered---he was shivering with anger. His soul bellowed in utter bewilderment---What lay ahead? What would he do?

In his mind, Roy deduced himself to be a failure. He justified by saying, “I could not even hold on to my job!” He felt envious of that entire bunch of lucky butts that glued to their seats in the air-conditioned office room.  The painting, by then, had lines of green on it. His office desk was stationed at the far end of the room, near the window overlooking the entire city. The concrete jungle looked pleasant from the 19^th floor of his office building. The realization that his seat would be occupied by some anonymous trainee, with a badge dangling round his neck, was unbearable. Roy had spent 4 long years in that office. He put his brush in color bottles randomly and started squirting on the canvas, just like hurling insults into thin air. Color marks—yellow, orange, purple, white slurred the picture. He found himself sobbing. He buried his face in his hands and wept. The canvas was all littered.

Roy did not know when he had dozed off. When he woke up, he found sunlight filtering into his room. Dragging himself to the window, he pulled open the curtains. The morn seemed indifferent to the previous night’s torment. It was on its own roll. Roy turned around and what caught his eyes was unbelievable. The canvas stood where it had been but where was the picture he drew? Where were the black smudges, the callous brush lines, and the color blots? What lay was stoically different. The ruffled tint and the hasty brush pats had resulted in a rainbow---unknowingly bright, bold and beautiful. Amazed, awestruck Roy stood static. He caught his reflection in the mirror that hung in front. The image had a black line running wide down the cheeks, but what reflected wider was a smile---so full, so true. What he had thought to be bleak, the end was actually a new hope, a fresh start. Roy continued smiling as the first rays from the golden ball beamed on the canvas, brighter!

June 05, 2011

[preview: met two of my frends from school! "courage to know" used here is our school's emblem]

A gap of years six
           A meet after so long;
With rucksack of memories
          I felt, here I belong!
The eyes so round and big
          The smile so nice and shy---
The hair that got tied up then,
          Has been let flown by.
Connection was paused for a while
          It just skipped a beat.
Reconnection was the needed most
          Meeting her was thus a treat!

The 'civil'ised genius has been with me
          for years eight or so;
A tear had rolled when he went away
          Quite a few months ago.
A sense, a bond of trust is there
          Between the genius and me:
The innocence that he exudes often
          Makes me believe in we!

The tie has stayed, free from rust
Even when the tides were low,
Right till date since the flight we had
Soaring with Courage to Know!
Schooldays have whizzed to the past----
Leaving footprints forlorn:
Remainders so left drench in smiles
The love still lingers on!!!!

REVIVAL

[preview: what could have ended with a fight, is going strong today! what could have been a farewell is faring well today, in togetherness! "the one who is unique" and "the one who befriends" said bye to what could have been a goodbye from each other........]

 The end lit orange, the air turned grey;
The bond hung loose, embrace left astray;
The feel crashed hard, broken uncountable;
The trust went dead, identity unviable;
The air grew stiff, the head spun round;
The rain unwanted, burning unbound;
The warmth grew cold, the touch anesthetized;
The words grew numb, the love seemed demised.

But the sun shines soon, the gold pours in;
What has seemed the end is the new beginning;
Smiles sing bright, bloom follows the prong;
The hold is stronger, the walk promises long;
The white moon rise, ebbing off the gore;
Silent yet intense, love revives galore!

met, by chance

[preview: went to iit bombay! met a person there! hw a mere meet resulted into a friendship is wat has been penned down. the luggage mentioned here is to do with some 'apple bottoms' we saw in that campus. lol!]

As I waited for the food to come

With hunger hard to endure:

The figure strolled downhill tall

Blued in the dusky azure.

Hesitant and curious was the primary greet

As hands shook a bit shy,

Lunch was finally gobbled as one

Conversation trailed by-----

The smile, the smoke and the walk et al

Colored the conversation comfy.

With an eye and a drool on the luggage at bay

Prolonged went our repartee.

Attributes were filthy in a healthy way

Reinforcing the bond that grew

Carefree yet strong the friendship went

Even before our minds could brew!

Next night as the dark pulled us far

We sit some miles spaced out;

He felt the meet had been impressive

“Indeed”, I shout aloud!

SHELTER!

you flew into me, when i had lost the hope

with nothingness to gape, and darkness to grope---

when identity lay writhing, ripped and torn;

i found a bond with you was born!

unknowing, the affable you mutated in me,

ushering life---fresh, light, warm, carefree.

you belonged to me strongly by the hour

filling sense to the scorch,the pain and the shower.

but the stars fell dead and the bad moon rose;

the time stood still and life just froze!

you left when i was hoping to be,

with nothingness fading and i discovering me.

but void was recovered,and glum thus stayed.

i lay parched in blame,as i lost my shade!

THIS CHRISTMAS!

[ preview: one my closest pals Sreyan Choudhury and his friend Suman composed a song called “This Christmas”. Before I was made to listen to this song, I was a bit cranked up! The first verse resembles that! But the composition just soothed my nerves and their ‘magic’ worked wonders for me! Kudos to MUEYR (that is what I call sreyan and suman as a combo)! Please keep gifting me such lifelines! ]

Wintry wind just wiped away

Bright warmth of my sunny day,

Gifting me the colour gray ---

This very Christmas!

With music born--simple and gay

And chords struck in such a way,

My serenity is back to stay ---

This calm Christmas!

MUEYR played their strings, so subtle

Putting life in moments, brittle,

Giving smile huge and a tear little ---

I love ‘This Christmas’!

‘This Christmas’ is to stay for long

At ups and downs and right with wrong;

To my end, as I trudge along

I’ll live through ‘This Christmas’!



[N.B. these are not the lyrics! these are my feelings that are penned down after listening to it! his composition is an instrumental one! and a marvelous one indeed]

guzaarish : my view!!!

A plea to die, to start with and an unblemished smile in the end--thats guzaarish!! blended with superb cinematography, aditya's freshness, the enormity of the set, the curtains, the stilness, light n shades, the established veterans adding life as supporting cast, just to make me love the most beautiful, most expressive, the most heartfelt thing throughout guzaarish-----the eyes of hrithik & aishwarya!

I don’t know if the thumb goes up r down commercially, to me guzaarish was an experience, a ride to the intricacies of filmmaking and a vivid introduction to the awe that a pair of eyes can generate. The two sexiest things that set ablaze the giant screen were the blue and green eyeballs of Sophia and Ethan!!

Just like the inexplicable satisfaction derived from reading a book or like the undaunted feeling-good after a friend’s hug---the movie instills that very raw calmness in me!! One does not jump out of the theatre after guzaarish, one feels the smoothness of everything around, and one glides!! "Learning to fly" was a book written by ethan (hrithik’s character)--I felt flight after the 150 minute of guzaarish!!!

I agree that it is not just perfect at every scene, but the beauty of the movie lies in its flaws because hrithik and aishwarya do not allow to even noticing any of them! Hrithik’s contemporary moves against the red backdrop, or aishwarya’s panting after she did an impromptu dance or even the small cross that ethan wore in his right ear—all just added up for a treat to watch!

The theatre at which I watched the movie had some sound related issues and the last scene went absolutely mute! But the expressions were not left unfelt or untouched—that’s the magic of direction and acting of all!!!

The last scene was all colours, quite unlike the rest of the movie, signifying the essence of life and the delight of a smile!!!

The movie makes one feel the pain, the happiness, the love, the life, and above all the calmness! The loudness and the extravaganza come from within and yet one finds oneself at peace! I came out of the theatre with a tear round the corner of my eye and more evidently a smile on my face!!! And as ethan says “life is too short---forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love uncontrollably……..”---to which I sing “sau gram zindagi hai, samhal k kharchiye!”

14/11

[preview: just had a sudden get together at my place! Few friends came while few could not! But the whole experience was just splendid! An account of that is what is written.

N.B. the title of the poem justifies the beginning of it!!! ]

“Hickory Dickory Dock

the mouse ran up the clock”

The clock struck 1—

Bespectacled, came in the muscled one!

No sooner had it been 2—

Entered the belle and her beau:

Some minutes that passed the 3.

Saw ‘corporate’s adding to the glee!

The clock showed 4 .

Lunch, gifts, fun and more. ( :D )

Time hurried down to 5

Into chocolate, we took yummy a dive: ( :P )

When it was about to be 6,

Two left after posing for few pics.

Minutes summed up to the 7

Duo departed, “will meet soon, again”. ( :( )

Hands showed way past eight-

Extended, could no longer be his wait !

Enriched by their presence,
I gathered round the essence
of the day,just spent well.
Memories woven, vivid

Unwilling though, it was time to bid

Farewell to those bright faces---
that included

The muscle, the goatee, the bloat and those tresses!!!!

DROPS

[preview: i received a text message from my friend, koustabh dolui! he told me what happened with him this evening. the pain he felt was evident ! In this poem "i" is actually koustabh! i just penned down his sms in my way]

Droplets in the evening, late

I seated under a tree---

Waiting for a ride to home

How boring it could be?

Some bikers parked their wheelers two

Right in front of me;

Black beauties they were flaunting all

Getting wet in drops---carefree!

Just as I got used to it

The vehicles getting drenched,

A pair of eyes popped in front of me

The look got my heart wrenched.

Keen to earn a bread for night

Longingly he looked at me,

“I’d wipe your bike all dry, sir”

Dinner he asked for a fee!

How fettered and helpless I felt within

Actuality drove its teeth in:

With heaviness in heart I choked

“Mine, the bike has never been”.

Shattered was his hope for food,

Drops splattered here and there.

Couldn’t hurt his innocent pride

With some crisp currency, mere.

In rags, he waited for seconds none

Ran searching into dark, unseen---

Stoned I sat there looking out,

Why reality is this very mean?

It was pouring drops, by then.

Just how my soul would cry---

Like his young eyes and my heart inside

Unlike my eyes that kept dry!!!

between the LINES!

[preview: on my way back home from college, one of my friends and i used to walk down a lovely stretch of area. college days are gone. whats left over are memories and the long tram lines that ran over that area. this is an account of my revisit]

There they lay, darned and dusted

Stretching far from where I stood---

Taking bends and turns at places

Lying parallel, just as they should.

Green canopy were over the head

That filtered sunrays bright;

The steel wheels ran on them, harsh

With all their prowess and might!

Pressured, they bore the weight all along,

Complaining not even for a day;

Stretches of land they sang together

Long and strong they lay!

I took a stroll by one of them

Just as we did years ago---

Trying to recollect footprints we’d left

On the sands, just below.

Walking down the tides of time

I saw those marks, four

Said the lines, personified

“Two is here, there must be two more!”

I sighed and said I’m all alone

Trudging along my way

“You two are inseparable, like us

How much weird it sound may.”

Their words evoked disbelief

Staccato was what that came:

Bizarre not only they sounded

I found those totally lame!

“That’s the rock you sat upon,

That’s the field so lush;

Remember how you threw the bottle

After the vodka was drunk in rush?

Walk along with us a few more

To the zebra pitched on the floor:

To the signal where you confessed about her---

Where silence he kept in store.

That’s the bend you rested, tired

His heart beating faster:

‘Fantasy’ you had called somebody,

 Tagging the ‘fact’ to her.

Look! There he hugged you tight in arms

Quite unwilling to release—

How gay you thought that to be

But he let you feel the ease.

He stood there tall and dusky

Wearing a bespectacled smile:

When you felt all had been lost—

His hug gave you the mile!

You sat on that concrete out there

Sipping cups of lemon tea,

Steaming from that brown liquor

He emerges, can’t you just see?”

I turned back and looked upon

Places just pointed by two Line

I clearly saw in sepia tone

Sketched, our friendship shine!

Lips curved upwards, I kept gaping

At the vastness of you

Right from the stone to the signal

You beamed huge,but in a blurred hue!